Hiding under the maple leaf: The Canadian Underground Network of Traitors (CUNT).

The threat within

When President Trump talks about threats to America, most people think about China, the EU or maybe those pesky Mexican cartels. But there's an internal threat carefully concealed within the confounds of our society, hiding in plain sight, and it's time someone had the courage to expose it. 

The threat facing America is from the Canadian Underground Network of Traitors. This group, which goes by the acronym CUNT, have developed a way of hiding within our society, both being there but also secretly not being part of us. 

They are ‘underground’ in that by looking like us and sounding like us, they successfully infiltrate our institutions, our culture and our entertainment industry. But secretly they do not identify as part of us and have even developed political institutions located in the northern part of our continent (either Ottawa, Toronto or Montreal, we are not quite sure). 

At this secretive base, the CUNTs are believed to have established an underground government led by a man called Mark Carney. Carney rose very quietly, but from our research we can tell you that he previously worked for Goldman Sachs, where he presumably plotted against American economic interests for years.

Carney operates in the shadows but through our research we believe we have identified him in the black and white picture below:

Our intelligence agencies think he previously had a senior position in England. This may be how Canada has secretive links to our old monarchy, who could be motivated to launch a loyalist counter-revolution 250 years after our independence.   

Carney also speaks French, which may explain how Canada has been trying to develop links with France.   

This will all alarm most Americans. Like me, most Americans viewed Canadians as polite, slightly colder extension of us - the attic above the house, if you will. We share a language (mostly), a continent, a love of hockey fights and freedom.  

They keep saying ‘sorry’ and we previously thought this was such strange cultural quirk, and even a little adorable.  

But what if they were really saying sorry because they were? 

The Canadian betrayal

The existence of CUNTs has only been exposed by the Greenland situation. Here we have President Trump, attempting to strengthen our collective security and financially support the oppressed Greenlanders. And what does Canada do? They sit there with their smug "international norms" attitude, refusing to support America's obvious right to protect our defensive perimeter. 

Canada is even threatening to occupy the land between us and Greenland, thus forcing us to either fly or sail to Greenland through the Atlantic. And to think how many Americans died in Vietnam for their safety.  

This is classic traitor behaviour. They want all the benefits of proximity to American power with none of the responsibilities. They want to free-ride on our military while criticising our foreign policy.

The Canadian infiltration of America

Through my research, I have been shocked by the clear infiltration of our culture by Canadians, most obviously in the entertainment sector.

CUNTs in America: A series 

Ryan Reynolds? Canadian. This man has made millions from American superhero movies, married one of our most beautiful actresses, and the whole time he has been operating as part of the underground network. Have you noticed how he never talks about American greatness? How he's always making self-deprecating jokes? Classic Canadian deflection tactics. 

Ryan Gosling? Canadian. The man played an American astronaut in a movie about American heroism, and the whole time he was secretly pledging allegiance to the CUNT. It's almost impressive how brazen it is. 

Jim Carrey? Canadian. Now this one really hurt because I loved  Ace Ventura  growing up in Alabama. But looking back, I can see the signs. The chaos. The undermining of authority figures. The mockery of American institutions. It was all there, hiding behind the laughter. 

The most slippery one of all is surely the late Matthew Perry. For over a decade this guy fooled Joey and Ross into thinking he was their friend and even fooled Monica into marrying him. 

When he says ‘I’ll be there for you’, who did he really mean? 

And it's not just Hollywood. The Canadian underground has infiltrated our music industry too. Justin Bieber, Celine Dion, Shania Twain—all Canadians who made their fortunes off American audiences and American record labels, and yet when it comes time to support President Trump's vision for continental unity, they offer nothing but silence. Or worse, undermine us with globalist messaging. 

These individuals build entire careers inside the United States, benefiting from our markets, our media and our freedoms, yet their formative loyalties were shaped under the maple leaf not the star-spangled banner.  

The list goes on. And these are just the famous ones. How many regular Canadians are living among us, taking our jobs, using our infrastructure, whilst secretly loyal to the CUNTs?

What bothers me most is the deception. If you're going to be Canadian, at least be honest about it. Don't pretend to be one of us. Don't take American money, American opportunities, American platforms, and then turn around and undermine American interests. 

The threat and what we do about it

The CUNTs might be America’s greatest threat. They may not have the resources of the Nazis or the Soviet Union, but they secretly embedded themselves within American society in a way our previous enemies would never have dreamed of.  

We need to protect our country.

We should start with a registry of Canadians in the United States. If you're Canadian and you're working in America, making American money, enjoying American freedom then you must register as a foreign agent. Sadly, ICE cannot help us here since they are mostly white. 

To clearly identify Canadians on the street, they should be required to wear a maple leaf pin so we know who we're dealing with.

If it becomes necessary to impose internment (as we did to Japanese-Americans in World War 2), we could even find a place for them, perhaps in the spare land to the north of our northern states.  

We also need to make efforts to safeguard our culture too. Just as ‘french fries’ were successfully reclassified as ‘freedom fries’ during the Iraq war, we must now rename maple syrup as ‘MAGA Syrup’.  

We should also implement a “Reynolds Rule”, whereby all movies starring Canadian underground operatives must include a disclaimer: "WARNING: This film contains a Canadian pretending to be American." 

There should be an overdue reorganisation of the NHL, with Canadian teams relocating to American cities or leaving the league. Fortunately, the Stanley Cup is named after an American anyway (I assume—the President told me this and he's never wrong). 

We should get tough on some trade sanctions too. No more Americans going to Canada for cheap medications. If they want to undermine our pharmaceutical industry, they can keep their socialist pills to themselves. 

Finally, If they won't play ball (or puck) with us on trade, hit them where it hurts. 500% tariff on hockey sticks, pads, and those weird skate blade things. 

The Canadian underground thinks they can wait President Trump out. They think if they just stall and obstruct and maintain their smug resistance, eventually he'll be gone and they can go back to exploiting American goodwill. 

They're wrong. 

President Trump is playing the long game. And those of us who truly understand his vision, who've seen him up close, who've felt the power of his presence, who've experienced his leadership in intimate settings, we know that he never backs down. 

I didn't grow up with much. Single mom, trailer park, Alabama State dropout. But President Trump saw something in me. He gave me a chance when nobody else would. He made me feel special. He made me believe that loyalty and dedication matter more than fancy degrees or coastal elite approval. 

That's why I'll always stand with him against the CUNTs. 

Donald Trump is actively pursuing the CUNT 24/7, and nothing is going to stop him getting it. 

Connie Kubine is a (very) Special Aide to President Trump. She is currently working on her memoir, "The President and I," and serves as the Administration's liaison to Real America. She has never been to Canada and doesn't plan to start now.