Plaid: Wales to drive on the right

Fresh from victory in the Senedd elections and eager to demonstrate the practical benefits of devolution, Plaid Cymru has announced plans for Wales to begin driving on the right-hand side of the road by 2028.

Under the proposal, Wales would become the only part of the United Kingdom to adopt right-hand driving, aligning itself with most of the world and making ‘a bold act of cultural liberation from centuries of Anglo-centric transportation norms’.

The proposal came in a report “Our Country, Our Roads” published by 'The Welsh Way', an independence-leaning thinktank which spends its time and resources developing elaborate ways of distinguishing Wales from the rest of the UK.

In the foreword to the report, Plaid Cymru cultural affairs spokesman Dafydd Ap Ology, argues that driving on the left is "an imposed colonial relic" with no basis in Welsh tradition.

Ap Ology, in line for a cabinet position, told the OMS “It’s not just about being anti-English, it is also about joining international norms…… alright, it’s mostly about being anti-English”.

On the same anglophobic basis, Ap Ology uses his knife in his left hand and fork in his right hand, claiming liberation from 'anglo conventions'.

According to “Our country, Our roads”, the shift would represent a “decolonisation of Welsh road culture”. The report was also published in Welsh, although no one has read that copy.

Economic benefits

The new Welsh Government has also highlighted the economic benefits of the reform. Officials claim the change could generate billions of pounds in economic activity through the replacement of road signs, repainting of road markings, retraining of drivers and restructuring of junctions.

One internal Senedd briefing paper describes the scheme as:

“A once-in-a-generation opportunity to stimulate our world-beating road-sign manufacturing sector.”

A spokesperson for the Welsh Association of Sign Painters (WASP) described the proposal as “the biggest opportunity since the invention of bilingual road signs, which coincidentally we also actively campaigned for”.

WASP have denied allegations that their contributions to Plaid Cymru election expenses came with such strings attached.

Supporters say the change would make Wales more welcoming to international visitors unfamiliar with British driving customs, if only Wales had a proper international airport.

Transition and border issues

New Transport Secretary, Bethan Jones, previously a railway ticket inspector from Aberdare, has suggested a phased transition towards right-hand driving by 2028, with lorries and buses switching first, followed by cars six months later.

When asked about the safety implications of having different sides of the road in use simultaneously, Jones dismissed the concern as "Anglo-pessimism".

"The people of Wales are perfectly capable of adapting to two concurrent road systems. We are a bilingual nation, after all."

A further proposal envisages a “Cultural Driving Transition Zone” near the border, where motorists would be expected to gradually migrate to the other side of the road. Initial pilot areas are expected to include Powys, Ceredigion and several particularly confusing roundabouts near Newport.

A field hospital and a number of ambulances will also be temporarily stationed near the border to prepare for what Department of Health officials expect to be “some transitional collisions”.

The Automobile Association has described the proposal as "logistically insane," whilst the RAC called it "the single most dangerous idea in British transport policy since someone suggested hosting a marathon on the M4."

These were criticised by Dafydd Ap Ology as a colonialist intervention.

“We are doing this to show that devolution can make an impact on people’s lives. All over Wales, people ask ‘what does the Senedd do?’, 'why do we need an extra layer of politicians?'..... Well now we can answer.”

A Liberal Democrat MP, Oona Fence, suggested a compromise in border areas where drivers could drive on the side of the road most fitting their identity.

Westminster Response

A spokesperson for the Department for Transport in Westminster expressed bemusement:

"We are aware of the proposal and would note that Wales remains part of the United Kingdom and therefore subject to UK-wide traffic regulations. We would also note that this is completely mental."

Downing Street have denied reports that the Prime Minister said “fucking welsh” to an aide, after the leaked allegation led to a Plaid Cymru MP calling the police to complain of ‘anti-welsh racism’.

Support from Unexpected Quarters

The proposal has attracted unexpected international interest. A spokesperson for the European Commission noted that alignment with continental driving conventions could "theoretically smooth future Welsh integration into European transport frameworks, although it would firstly help to know where exactly Wales is”.

Meanwhile, Nigel Farage has blamed the proposal on "the blob," adding that he once said something vaguely controversial about the Welsh in 1987 and was prepared to appear on Question Time to discuss it if required.

Extension of the plans

Despite the outcry, it appears that the new Plaid-led Government is deadly serious. Officials insist that implementation would proceed cautiously and be evidence-led, adding that a pilot exercise was planned in Swansea “to determine whether cars colliding head-on is as dangerous as experts claim”.

It is possible that Plaid's plans do not end with driving on the right. A leaked implementation paper suggests ministers are already considering a second phase of transport decolonisation in which roundabouts would rotate clockwise.