There are no ""legitimate concerns""

As a long-standing government advisor on immigration, working with all UK governments from Tony Blair onwards, I have a recurring frustration with the state of our public debate. Due to my recent retirement, I can emerge from the shadows (or ‘deep state’ for the paranoid amongst you) to publicly vent these frustrations for the first time.

A particular bugbear of mine (as well as the wider establishment) is the deployment of the toxic phrase ““legitimate concerns””. Often used by otherwise respectable politicians, this risks becoming a semi-acceptable argument in our public sphere.

I have done a double inverted commas around this contemptible term due to its inherent illegitimacy as a concept.

I can roughly trace its origin to the infamous incident during the 2010 General Election when Gordon Brown encountered a bigoted woman saying bigoted things. As I said in my multiple submissions to the Police at the time, repulsive language such as “flocking” risked sparking racist sentiments similar to those experienced in 1930s Germany. So did her northern accent, provincial demeanour and generally hectoring tone.

The individual in question, Gillian Duffy, became a poster child for the wave of anti-migrant policy seen since 2010, which has seen the UK experience perfectly manageable immigration levels during this period.

In my Whitehall office, I requested a life-size model of her for me to stick pins in. As part of our interview process, applicants were required to scream ‘bigot’ at her. The perceived venom with which this was delivered accounted for 25% of the scoring criteria. To avoid any possible cross-contamination, our HR Manager automatically screened out any candidates north of Kidlington.

As the completely impartial Migrants Rights Network rightly says “When you start ‘legitimising’ concerns about migration you are enabling racism and echoing the far-right”.[1] (Editor – this is a genuine quote by the way not a parody).

That’s right. It’s literally impossible to even have a concern about migration at all. It’s inherently illegitimate.

What is legitimate to be concerned about is racism. On that note, I am particularly concerned about the strange increase in antisemitism, as I have no idea where it has come from or why it has suddenly re-emerged.

The benefits to immigration and diversity are so obvious that I can demonstrate them by just describing how I spent today, an ordinary day for Gus.

This morning, I walked five minutes from my house to hear beautiful Eastern European Klezmar music being played on a clarinet by a busker.

For lunch, I went to a cafe to order a South Indian Dosa.

After resisting the temptation of Italian Ice Cream, I had a cup of Ethiopian coffee.

I returned home to our beautiful home tidied and cleaned by our Albanian au pair.

This evening, I ordered some delicious Chinese food, cooked by a recent Hong Kong refugee and delivered to my door by a man on a bike who sadly refused his give his name or nationality and quickly ran away when I politely enquired about his immigration status. However, he looked like one if you know what I mean.

Tomorrow, I plan to get a haircut from one of the new Turkish barbers that’s opened up on the high street and maybe pick up some yummy American sweets on the way home from the shop next door.

Can someone tell me anything that is negative about that?

Are we saying that food and products should cross borders, but people cannot? Why should Paolo, Nikita and Abdul have less rights than a tin of baked beans (which are made in America by the way)?

20 years ago, a neighbour of mine in Hampstead complained about the extent of Polish immigration. Noticing a clear non-London accent on him, I decided to ask where he had been born?

The answer: Southampton!

I gave the shopping to our nineteen year old au pair, Alicja, to hold, and took a deep breath, before steadily mounting my high horse, envisaging myself as Sean Bean’s Captain Sharpe preparing battle with the French. Puffing out my chest, I began the subtle interrogation:

 “So,” I started, deliberately pausing for dramatic effect, experiencing what my good friend Tony Blair would call ‘the hand of history upon my shoulders’.

“You moved here then…..?”

My heart melted when the entire neighbourhood began spontaneously cheering.

My Jamaican neighbour Dalton, with whom I have shared many evening spliffs, began a reggae version of John Lennon’s beautiful song ‘Imagine’, undoubtedly the deepest and most soulful piece of music ever created.

After raising one arm Shearer-style to milk the applause, I swaggered into my house to a visibly coquettish Alicja, who began a polish rendition of ‘hail the conquering hero’, before stripping naked and cooking me a pierogi.

This concludes your first free article by me, Gus Lighter, as I reveal the truth about how diversity has enriched Britain.

If you want to read more of my truth bombs, please subscribe here or buy us a coffee here

In my next article, I will reveal the truth about the so-called ‘grooming gangs’.

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[1] "Legitimate concerns" - Migrants' Rights Network